We can all feel at times as if no one will understand us
When we are going through a tough time - it is easy to feel that no one will understand us, no one cares or there's no way out. As a therapist we are taught a lot about "disclosure" - do we or don't we? Do we tell a client about our own personal experiences. The verdict's still out as a therapist to disclose or not to disclose? There's lots of discussion about it in the therapy world. Many research papers have been written on this topic. Obviously when I am with a client I don't talk about myself. Some clients may see that as cold or elusive - I view it as my client is paying me, it's their time. I wouldn't be much of a therapist if I spent your therapy session talking about me (again)! But then again some common sense should prevail.
Professional & Personal Expertise
It's reassuring for clients to know I belong to a professional body & I am qualified. I can list my qualifications but the truth is not many people know or care deeply what an integrative humanistic counsellor or a Gestalt therapist or a Psychodynamic therapist really is nor know what MBACP or abbreviations of such kind stand for. I certainly never knew until I got qualified. And what's the difference again between a counsellor and a psychotherapist? Someone please remind me. In my opinion clients want to know questions such as - Can I help them? Will I understand them? Will I judge them? I want clients to know - that I do understand. I do get them. And no I won't judge them. I'm someone who's become a qualified therapist - learning theory and ethics, is needed but my personal life experiences are just as valuable. So I wrote this short piece about how & why I became a therapist. Hope you enjoy it!
The question - why did you want to become a therapist?
Growing up in chaos and drama
Thinking I was all good
Realising the consequences
So what saved me?
Just one simple answer ....... my child. I didn't want to give my child the type of childhood I had. Because I know first hand how it can damage you. My life up to that point was living proof. I didn't want chaos and drama as a way of life for my child. Nor did I want to become an abusive mother drowning in her own pain. I was determined to bring my child in a stable and loving environment. I had to find a different way of being for my child's sake. Because there was a real chance I could become an abusive mother or an addict of uppers & downers or an alcoholic or find damaging ways to numb my own pain. If I went down that route - the people in my life would suffer also.