Who Makes mistakes?
Mistakes - we all make them. The thought of them can make us cringe, lie and pretend that they didn't happen! It wasn't me, I don't know! What are you accusing me of? Defending our mistakes even has the capacity to turn us into bullies 😱.
All quite regular defence mechanisms to protect ourselves when we know deep down we have messed up. A kind of self preservation. But eventually holding onto emotions that haven't been dealt with or processed will eventually get the better of us.
Dealing with the emotions
Those feelings of not forgiving yourself, living with guilt, shame will eventually manifest in some shape or form. I'm not saying mistakes are what everyone should be doing night and day.
But the reality is they happen and no ones immune from them. If you can re-frame them in your mind as mistakes being "a learning process" leading to your growth. This could really help you let go of them and move on.
Learning To Forgive Yourself
If I could ask you to just do one thing today - bring to your awareness a mistake you've made which internally gnaws away at you. Imagine yourself with a really really big erasure rubbing out your mistake. Today is the day to think of it as a learning opportunity and forgive yourself.
Instead of beating yourself as a "bad person" - think of it as an opportunity for you to grow as a person. Perhaps then you could let go of some of the shame, the guilt, the resentment, the anger? Surely thats got to be a good thing?
We are always forgiving others - but less forgiving with ourselves. Today give yourself a break! Plus I do think if we didn't make mistakes we would be a bit weird ..... So whose in for rubbing out their mistakes today?
Accepting and Moving On
This is the difficult part - accepting you have made a "really big mistake". Of course you might be in denial, blame others (often a default position for many of us) or might not just want to think about it. We all do it. But it never goes away. A really powerful question to ask yourself I find which helps the process is to ask yourself
What needs to happen first for me to move on?